


He's so Cringey

by Beewachan



Series: Series 2: Second Generation Captains [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, M/M, Second gen captains, i wish for death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 10:26:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11621631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beewachan/pseuds/Beewachan
Summary: The second gen captains texting their managers, friends, squads, brother, and significant others.(06:45) NaCl:Attached imagereminded me of you(06:45) SemiSemi:Kenjirou, that's literally just a starbucks drink spilled on the ground





	He's so Cringey

**Author's Note:**

> Daddy -- Miya Atsumu  
> Mommy -- Akaashi  
> halfpint -- Hoshiumi  
> love me -- Kinoshita  
> SPICE -- Tanaka  
> suGAR -- Nishinoya  
> everything nice -- Yamamoto  
> NaCl -- Shirabu  
> fuck off -- Kyoutani  
> kagehina is real -- Yaichi  
> hobgoblin -- Hoshiumi's friend  
> notyourmom -- Nametsu  
> futafuckme -- Futakuchi  
> #1 -- Sakusa  
> also #1 -- Komori  
> spice daddy -- Terushima  
> bumblebees -- Kawanishi 
> 
> i think that's everyone; if there's any confusion in other names, just ask

Chat: Daddy and Miya Osamu

(13:12) Daddy: hi

(13:12) Miya Osamu: Please never message me again.

(13:12) Daddy: but we live together

(13:12) Miya Osamu: Please never message me again.

(13:12) Daddy: but you just said that :(

(13:13) Miya Osamu: I was repeating it.

(13:13) Daddy: i was just saying hi

(13:13) Miya Osamu: Bye

(13:13) Daddy: jeez :(

 

 

 

 

☆☆☆☆☆

 

 

(13:49) Miya Osamu: Did you eat my pringles?

_Read 13:49_

 

 

 

 

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Chat: fuck off and Yahaba

(16:21) Yahaba: Where are you?

(16:21) fuck off:where are u

(16:23) Yahaba: The gym  
(16:25) Yahaba: Kentarou?

(16:25) fuck off:what

(16:25) Yahaba: You can't just ask where I am and then not tell me where you are and leave the conversation after I answer you

(16:25) fuck off:why not

(16:26) Yahaba: Whatever. Just come to the gym

 

 

 

 

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Chat: Mommy and Suzumeda

(20:17) Suzumeda: Hey, what did you say your ships were again, with our team and the others from the training camp?

(20:17) Mommy: Wrong person.

(20:17) Suzumeda: Sorry!

(20:17) Mommy: No problem.

 

 

 

 

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Chat: THE BOIZ (ennoshita, love me, narnar, SPICE, and suGAR)

(01:12) SPICE: GUYS I NEED A LIFE SAVER

(01:12) suGAR:: _Attached image_ candy i got u bro

(01:12) SPICE: ILY

(01:12) narnar: Why do you need a lifesaver at 1:12 in the morning

(01:12) ennoshita: go to sleep

(01:12) SPICE: BC I THOUFHT I WAA STINF AND I HAVE TO STAY ALIVE FOR MY BOYFREIEND

(01:12) ennoshita: why did you think you were dying

(01:12) love me: wow it speaks tanaka

(01:12) ennoshita: shut up, kinoshita

(01:12) SPICE: NISHINOYA GAVE ME TOO MANY PAINKILLERSLOL

(01:12) suGAR: HEY i just saved your life dont blame me

(01:13) SPICE: ILYBRO

(01:13) suGAR: ILY2

(01:13) SPICE: I FORGIVE U FOR ACCIDENTALLY ALMOST KILLING ME

(01:13) suGAR: <33333

(01:13) love me: someone please remind me who tanaka is dating again

(01:13) ennoshita: shut up, kinoshita

(01:13) narnar: Get rekt

(01:13) love me: shut up, narita

 

 

 

 

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Chat: NaCl and SemiSemi

(07:02) SemiSemi: Good morning, pretty boy

(07:02) NaCl: good morning, beautiful

 

 

 

☆☆☆☆☆

 

(18:17) NaCl: hi how are you

(18:17) SemiSemi: Shitty. How are you?

(18:18) NaCl: also shitty, but how come

(18:18) SemiSemi: I just read a textbook for like three hours, and I'm tired as hell. What about you?

(18:18) NaCl: take a nap, eita

(18:18) SemiSemi: Maybe later

(18:18) NaCl: i’m like exhausted in general  
(18:18) NaCl: i’m gonna go shower and nap. i’ll text you later <3

(18:18) SemiSemi: Sweet dreams, Kenjirou

(18:18) NaCl: love you

(18:18) SemiSemi: I love you, too

 

 

 

 

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Chat: fuck him and his haircut (everything nice, fuckunaga, and kozume)

(20:20) everything nice: kenny how's the bf

(20:20) kozume: idk how's yours  
(20:20) kozume: oh, right. you don't have one

(20:21) everything nice: damn boy chill

(20:21) fuckunaga: i don't think he likes being called kenny

(20:21) everything nice: apparently not lmao

(20:21) kozume: why do you ask

(20:21) everything nice: because you changed the chat name ^

(20:21) kozume: i was playing flappy bird  
(20:21) kozume: and he kept sending  
(20:21) kozume: those dumbass emoticons

(20:21) fuckunaga: (⌒▽⌒)☆

(20:21) kozume: yes those  
(20:21) kozume: and i was about to beat my high score  
(20:21) kozume: and then he goes with another ten of those but the cat ones  
(20:22) kozume: and my phone started freezing up  
(20:22) kozume: and he made lev send me them too  
(20:22) kozume: and i fucking lost 1 away from my high score

(20:22) everything nice: that's the most you've typed since the creation of this chat

(20:22) kozume: yes

(20:22) everything nice: also i didn't know you cursed

(20:22) kozume: watch this

(20:22) everything nice: ok

(20:22) fuckunaga: okay

(20:23) kozume: wait for it  
(20:23) kozume: fuck you

(20:23) everything nice: bravo

(20:23) kozume: help me spam kuro

(20:23) fuckunaga: with pleasure

 

 

 

 

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Chat: futafuckme and notyourmom

(20:27) notyourmom: sooo how's its going with kamasaki ;)

(20:27) futafuckme: nametsu, you're like my mom

(20:27) notyourmom: BUT LIKE MY NAME CLEARLY STATES  
(20:27) notyourmom: i’m not haha

(20:27) futafuckme: ily nametsu

(20:27) notyourmom: i thought you loved kamasaki

(20:27) futafuckme: nametsu i meant in a friendly way

(20:28) notyourmom: dangit  
(20:28) notyourmom: i was trying to get you to say you love kamasaki

(20:28) futafuckme: wow  
(20:28) futafuckme: i am in love with kamasaki yasushi  
(20:28) futafuckme: happy now?

(20:28) notyourmom: what about your sugardaddy

(20:28) futafuckme: don't love him

(20:28) notyourmom: what about moniwa

(20:28) futafuckme: yasushi is #1

(20:28) notyourmom: what about shirabu kenjirou

(20:28) futafuckme: no

(20:28) notyourmom: what about miya osamu

(20:29) futafuckme: no

(20:29) notyourmom: what about kinoshita hisashi

(20:29) futafuckme: no

(20:29) notyourmom: what about that lady from that strip club a couple months ago

(20:29) futafuckme: nametsu i get it you know every single person i've slept with and all the details

(20:29) notyourmom: remember that time in seventh grade when you had a crush on me

(20:29) futafuckme: shut up

(20:29) notyourmom: lol

(20:29) futafuckme: you promised you wouldn't talk about that anymore :(

(20:30) notyourmom: but it's funny kenjicchi

(20:30) futafuckme: remember when i used to call you maicchi

(20:30) notyourmom: yeah  
(20:30) notyourmom: i braided your sister’s hair yesterday and prank called her boyfriend and accidentally broke up with him btw

(20:30) futafuckme: what the fuck  
(20:30) futafuckme: does she know

(20:30) notyourmom: no she told me about him and i was like ew sounds like a young terushima and went home and did that by myself

(20:30) futafuckme: is this why you were texting me in the first place

(20:30) notyourmom: no  
(20:30) notyourmom: i was talking with the girls about all our ships on the volleyball teams and whatever and one of them asked if kamafuta was official and i was like hell yeah i have proof so i needed proof  
(20:31) notyourmom: and then i was like oh right there was something important that i had to tell him  
(20:31) notyourmom: so i started subtly reminding you that I have hella dirt on you so you don't get pissed at me for breaking up with your sister’s boyfriend

(20:31) futafuckme: what the fuck, nametsu

(20:31) notyourmom: idk what to do

(20:31) futafuckme: did he seriously believe you when you called him from a strange number  
(20:31) futafuckme: how did you even get his number

(20:31) notyourmom: phone books still exist, biatch

(20:31) futafuckme: what are you going to do

(20:31) notyourmom: i was thinking about pushing the task on you since you're all “mr responsible” now

(20:31) futafuckme: it makes so much sense why ayame told me to shove it when i was like how was swim practice

(20:31) notyourmom: so what's the plan, mr. responsible ~_~

(20:31) futafuckme: well obvi ayame can't know about this  
(20:31) futafuckme: she won't talk to me, so u ask her about her day, and see what their relationship was like today, and see if it's fixable

(20:32) notyourmom: yeah, but….

(20:32) futafuckme: but what

(20:32) notyourmom: i don't want them back together

(20:32) futafuckme: mai istg if this is about that crush you had on her years ago no

(20:32) notyourmom: NO SHES LIKE 13 KENJI I DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT

(20:32) futafuckme: please fix it

(20:32) notyourmom: i will tell everyone about that time you tried to flirt with aone

(20:32) futafuckme: jfc

 

 

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Chat: bumblebees and spice daddy

(22:12) spice daddy: baby why's your name bumblebees

(22:12) bumblebees: baby, you know i don't like being called baby

(22:13) spice daddy: okay fine i get it lmao

(22:13) bumblebees: lol

(22:13) spice daddy: but answer me babe

(22:13) bumblebees: babe is okay  
(22:13) bumblebees: alright i'll tell you now  
(22:13) bumblebees: i was sitting on one of those cute picnic tables w goshiki and shirabu

(22:13) spice daddy: mhm

(22:13) bumblebees: and there were some cute little flowers on the grass, and bees were pollinating them, and goshiki was like you got jazz?? and i was internally like goshiki it's you like jazz, but i didn't say anything bc just goshiki saying that was annoying shirabu so much, and i was like dying both of laughter and my allergies with the flowers pollinating and whatever  
(22:14) bumblebees: and goshiki's like senpai are u okay  
(22:14) bumblebees: and i’m like just my allergies and goshiki starts freaking out like, oh gosh he's allergic to bees, shirabu senpai what do we do! and shirabu is about to smack him and goshiki goes on this and changes my bio to “i’m deathly allergic to bees. do not bring bees near me” and changes my name to bumblebees “to make sure everyone knows”

(22:14) spice daddy: interesting story, _senpai_

(22:14) bumblebees: did u just use punctuation lmao

(22:14) spice daddy: come on taichi i was trying to seduce you

(22:14) bumblebees: yuuji

(22:15) spice daddy: yes senpai  
(22:15) spice daddy: *shyly blushes and skirt just so happens to lift with the wind as i bow*

(22:15) bumblebees: be completely honest, _baby_

(22:15) spice daddy: when have i ever lied to you, senpai

(22:15) bumblebees: this was initially intended to be a joke, right?

(22:15) spice daddy: wym by “this”

(22:15) bumblebees: “senpai”

(22:15) spice daddy: oh no  
(22:15) spice daddy: i was legitimately initially trying to seduce you but i figured that wasnt your kink so i turned it into an unfunny ironic joke

(22:15) bumblebees: lmao i love you

(22:15) spice daddy: love you too babe ;)

(22:16) bumblebees: is that your kink

(22:16) spice daddy: nah  
(22:16) spice daddy: my kinks are whatever the fuck yours are

(22:16) bumblebees: are you sure

(22:16) spice daddy: down for whatever  
(22:16) spice daddy: ur my kink

(22:16) bumblebees: yuuji

(22:16) spice daddy: yes taichi  
(22:16) spice daddy: feels good to say ur name or like  
(22:16) spice daddy: /type/ it

(22:16) bumblebees: likewise  
(22:16) bumblebees: i’m so glad you're my boyfriend

(22:16) spice daddy: taichi i will legit cry

(22:16) bumblebees: legit

(22:17) spice daddy: lol fuck u

(22:17) bumblebees: when & where

(22:17) spice daddy: don't use ampersand it makes me uncomfortable

(22:17) bumblebees: the word ampersand makes me uncomfortable

(22:17) spice daddy: seriously though fuck me taichi

(22:17) bumblebees: that can be arranged but for the time being  
(22:17) bumblebees: we should go to sleep lol

(22:17) spice daddy: NOOOO

(22:17) bumblebees: babe

(22:17) spice daddy: sext me ;))) <3333

(22:17) bumblebees: god i can't sext

(22:18) spice daddy: tonight, you'll learn

(22:18) bumblebees: yuuji, it freaks me out when you use punctuation lmao

(22:18) spice daddy: ;)

 

 

 

 

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Chat: #1 and also #1

(22:49) also #1: Kiyoomi, where are you? I miss you :(

(22:49) #1: Motoya, I love you very much, but it's 10:49, and I like to sleep at 10 sharp as you know very well

(22:49) also #1: Kiyoomi  
(22:49) also #1: When was the last time you had fun in your life?

(22:50) #1: Today

(22:50) also #1: Whaaaa  
(22:50) also #1: You literally just woke up, went to school, played volleyball, did your homework and walked home

(22:50) #1: But I got to walk you home and kiss you goodbye

(22:50) also #1: Ah, Kiyoomi, suave

(22:50) #1: Not to be a dick, but may I please sleep now

(22:50) also #1: How are you going to sleep if you're talking to me on the phone

(22:50) #1: But we aren't talking technically

(22:51) also #1: That can be arranged!!!

(22:51) #1: Please, my sister will ask me what I'm doing, and I don't want her to bother me about you. Again.

(22:51) also #1: F i n e  
(22:51) also #1: ;) Kiyoomi loves me

(22:51) #1: Yes, I do

(22:51) also #1: Omg u admitted it

(22:51) #1: Motoya, I’ve told you on several occasions about my feelings

(22:51) also #1: Yeah… but it still feels like !!!! every time

(22:51) #1: Like !!!!

(22:52) also #1: Kiyoomi are you mocking me!!!!!!!!

(22:52) #1: !!!!!!!!

(22:52) also #1: Fine you can sleep

(22:52) #1: Yay

(22:52) also #1: BUT FIRST!

(22:52) #1: !

(22:52) also #1: Kiyoomi!  
(22:52) also #1: I love you!

(22:52) #1: I love you too, Motoya

(22:52) also #1: I love you more

(22:53) #1: No, you don't

(22:53) also #1: Alright let's not do that thing where couples argue about who loves who need because you need your beauty sleep haha

(22:53) #1: I love you more than sleep

(22:53) also #1: Haha no, you don't, but it's okay because sleep is an idea not an animate object, so I don't have to be jealous

(22:53) #1: Motoya, you genuinely sound crazy, and I think you need sleep more than I do

(22:53) also #1: Yeah, I've been awake for like 20 hours now

(22:53) #1: Get some rest

(22:53) also #1: But I'm going to miss you!!!

(22:53) #1: I’m not going anywhere

(22:53) also #1: MWAH

(22:53) #1: ….

(22:53) also #1: You can do it

(22:53) #1: Mwah

(22:54) also #1: Kiyoomi! My Prince Charming!

(22:54) #1: Sweet dreams, Motoya

(22:54) also #1: <333

(22:54) #1: <333

(22:54) also #1: Omg u left the same amount of hearts this time

(22:54) #1: I’m learning

(22:54) also #1: I LOVE YOU!

(22:54) #1: I love you too  
(22:54) #1: Get some sleep for me

(22:54) also #1: <3 GOODNIGHT KIYOOMI BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD #1 ACE IN HS VOLLEYBALL #1 BOY IN MY HEART

(22:54) #1: Goodnight, Motoya, #1 general human being

 

 

 

 

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Chat: halfpint and kourai is holding me hostage. help

(06:17) halfpint: UR NAME IS SO LONG :(

(06:17) kourai is holding me hostage. help: like my dick

(06:17) kourai is holding me hostage. help’s name has been changed to hobgoblin

(06:17) hobgoblin: wtf kourai, you're the hobgoblin

(06:17) halfpint: yeah,,,, but im your hobgoblin

(06:18) hobgoblin: my hobgoblin that wakes me up at fucking 6:18 in the morning apparently

(06:18) halfpint: because ily

(06:18) hobgoblin: shut up, lovable hobgoblin

(06:18) halfpint: I DIDNT TALK

(06:18) hobgoblin: yeah yeah you typed

(06:18) halfpint: we have morning practice anyway :p

(06:18) hobgoblin: okay 1) no, we don't  
(06:18) hobgoblin: 2) did you just “:p” me

(06:19) halfpint: 1) we do now bc i say so  
(06:19) halfpint: 2) yes yes i did

(06:19) hobgoblin: we don't even have the keys to the gym, kourai

(06:19) halfpint: _Attached image_ GUESS WHAT I GOT/MADE A COPY OF

(06:19) hobgoblin: kourai can i tell you something

(06:19) halfpint: u can tell me anything, HOTHOBGOBLIN

(06:19) hobgoblin: i thought you were calling me a thot for a second  
(06:19) hobgoblin: anyway i have to tell you  
(06:19) hobgoblin: you're the most extra person i've ever met

(06:19) halfpint: uhuh  
(06:19) halfpint: hey wanna make out after we practice

(06:19) hobgoblin: how about we just make out and do extra practice in the afternoon instead ;)

(06:20) halfpint: ;)  
(06:20) halfpint: just one toss

(06:20) hobgoblin: what does playing volleyball get you off of something

(06:20) halfpint: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

(06:20) hobgoblin: fine

(06:20) halfpint: I LOVE YOU MY HOT HOBGOBLIN

(06:20) hobgoblin: lol fuck you

(06:20) halfpint: awww that was too sweet ur making me blush

 

 

 

 

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Chat: NaCl and SemiSemi

(06:45) NaCl: _Attached image_ reminded me of you

(06:45) SemiSemi: Kenjirou, that's literally just a starbucks drink spilled on the ground

(06:45) NaCl: it's the thought that counts

(06:46) SemiSemi: I guess you're right  
(06:46) SemiSemi: Love you, Kenjirou

(06:46) NaCl: what makes you think about me

(06:46) SemiSemi: Table Salt  
(06:46) SemiSemi: Eagles  
(06:46) SemiSemi: Weird haircuts

(06:46) NaCl: you're one to talk lol

(06:46) SemiSemi: See, I’m reminded of you whenever I look in the mirror

(06:46) NaCl: nice save, babe

(06:46) SemiSemi: I can't believe you, someone made of actual salt, are calling me babe

(06:46) NaCl: you a r e a babe, and ngl, terushima might be rubbing off on me a little bit

(06:46) SemiSemi: Haha  
(06:47) SemiSemi: I'm truly amazed at how much less you've told me to go fuck myself lately

(06:47) NaCl: hey  
(06:47) NaCl: i only said that to you twice. i was a good, respectful kouhai

(06:47) SemiSemi: You're right. It used to be mostly me telling you that you annoy me

(06:47) NaCl: pretty much

(06:47) SemiSemi: And when you had a crush on Ushijima, I was like, that bitch is mine, and I was like even more of a reason to hate you lmao

(06:47) NaCl: but everyone had a crush on himmmmm

(06:47) SemiSemi: But I only hated you lol

(06:48) NaCl: eitaaaaa

(06:48) SemiSemi: I love you, you know <3

(06:48) NaCl: ily2 eita <3

(06:48) SemiSemi: So, how’s everything?

(06:48) NaCl: i bought you a sweater yesterday because your fashion sense is terrible, and i wasn't going to tell you, but i can't wait for you to see it

(06:48) SemiSemi: Kenjirou, I swear to god, if it's one of the preppy, argyle-patterned sweaters that you wear, it is not coming within 1m of me unless it's on your body

(06:49) NaCl: eita, i know you can't work preppy clothing with your hair  
(06:49) NaCl: what kind of fashion neophyte do you take me for?

(06:49) SemiSemi: Wow

(06:49) NaCl: it's just a thick, grey, loose sweater with like a barely there stitching design

(06:49) SemiSemi: Show me

(06:49) NaCl: i can't i’m walking to school

(06:49) SemiSemi: Right. I'm stupid

(06:49) ‘NaCl: only sometimes

(06:49) SemiSemi: Again, wow

(06:49) NaCl: but i love you

(06:49) SemiSemi: Likewise

(06:50) NaCl: tell me gossip i need entertainment while i’m walking

(06:50) SemiSemi: Tendou has made some new friends  
(06:50) SemiSemi: Not gonna lie, it's annoying as fuck

(06:50) NaCl: who

(06:50) SemiSemi: Volleyball players. Bokuto Koutarou and Kuroo Tetsurou

(06:50) NaCl: i can see it

(06:50) SemiSemi: Wait, get this  
(06:50) SemiSemi: He's friends with Oikawa, too  
(06:50) SemiSemi: They're like a crew… a trash crew

(06:51) NaCl: doesn't he absolutely hate oikawa

(06:51) SemiSemi: Not anymore, apparently  
(06:51) SemiSemi: I can't tell whether Wakatoshi is jealous or not  
(06:51) SemiSemi: He's always playing volleyball, but he’s seemed kind of different since Tendou started hanging out with them

(06:51) NaCl: that's so cute

(06:51) SemiSemi: No, Kenjirou, it's weird lol  
(06:51) SemiSemi: He's been quieter than usual, and it feels awkward instead of like, ‘whatever. He doesn't like talking’

(06:52) NaCl: ask him what's wrong

(06:52) SemiSemi: How

(06:52) NaCl: “what's wrong?”

(06:52) SemiSemi: No

(06:52) NaCl: wow

 

 

 

 

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Chat: Daddy and Mommy

(12:00) Daddy: keiiiiiijiiiiiiiiii

(12:00) Mommy: Why do you only emphasize the i’s?

(12:00) Daddy: BECAUSE IIIII LOVE YOUUUUUU

(12:00) Mommy: I know.

(12:01) Daddy: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO STARWARS ME

(12:01) Mommy: What?

(12:01) Daddy: where the girls like ily and the guys like ik

(12:01) Mommy: Oh.

(12:01) Daddy: keiji are u in class or at lunch now

(12:01) Mommy: Lunch.

(12:01) Daddy: yay ur not texting me in class for once

(12:01) Mommy: You text me while you're in class first.

(12:01) Daddy: so  
(12:01) Daddy: how was your day???

(12:01) Mommy: It was good, and then you texted me.

(12:02) Daddy: KEIJI UR SO MEAN TO ME

(12:02) Mommy: Just kidding, Atsumu.

(12:02) Daddy: frrr???

(12:02) Mommy: Why do you add extra letters to an acronym?

(12:02) Daddy: /emphasis/

(12:02) Mommy: Well, yes, for real.

(12:02) Daddy: keiji

(12:02) Mommy: Yes?

(12:02) Daddy: guess what

(12:02) Mommy: What?

(12:02) Daddy: i love you

(12:02) Mommy: Atsumu, we've been through this before. Just a minute ago. I know.

(12:02) Daddy: can't say it enough

(12:02) Mommy: I suppose you're correct.

(12:03) Daddy: so wyd after school today

(12:03) Mommy: Practice and homework.

(12:03) Daddy: babe

(12:03) Mommy: What?

(12:03) Daddy: nothing i just wanted to see if you were okay with being called babe lmao

(12:03) Mommy: Wow.

(12:03) Daddy: okay fr this time  
(12:03) Daddy: what time will u be done with ur hw?

(12:03) Mommy: 10, maybe 10:30.

(12:03) Daddy: im gonna text u at 10  
(12:03) Daddy: omg that's like 10hrs from now that's so long

(12:03) Mommy: I guess.

(12:04) Daddy: keiji

(12:04) Mommy: What?

(12:04) Daddy: what are u eating

(12:04) Mommy: Nothing.

(12:04) Daddy: whyyy

(12:04) Mommy: I don't feel like going to get food.

(12:04) Daddy: but u need energy ~from food~ for ur practice and ur hw

(12:04) Mommy: Alright, I'll go to the vending machine.

(12:04) Daddy: yay

(12:04) Mommy: Are you at lunch?

(12:04) Daddy: 5 more minutes

(12:04) Mommy: You’re released for lunch at 12:09?

(12:05) Daddy: ya

(12:05) Mommy: That’s such an ugly time.

(12:05) Daddy: keiji that's mean to the time

(12:05) Mommy: The time doesn’t have feelings.

(12:05) Daddy: maybe it does who knows

(12:05) Mommy: I can say with confidence that it doesn't.

(12:05) Daddy: fine keep being mean

(12:05) Mommy: Atsumu, what time does your lunch end?

(12:05) Daddy: 12:54

(12:05) Mommy: Again, an ugly number.

(12:05) Daddy: did u ask just to know if it was aesthetically pleasing

(12:05) Mommy: No, it's just happened to be an ugly number.

(12:05) Daddy: what time does urs end

(12:05) Mommy: 12:45

(12:06) Daddy: ur gonna leave me alone for 9 mins :(

(12:06) Mommy: I can just text you during class.

(12:06) Daddy: nvm leave me alone and pay attention in class

(12:06) Mommy: You’re texting me during class right now, you hypocritical fiend.

(12:06) Daddy: okay maybe i am BUT IT'S STUDYHALL

(12:06) Mommy: Sorry for being mean to you. I’m having a sudden burst of remorse.

(12:06) Daddy: it's okay i know u don't mean it because you love me right right

(12:06) Mommy: Correct.

(12:06) Daddy: hey keiji can u do something to make it up to me

(12:06) Mommy: What do you want?

(12:06) Daddy: promise not to tell anyone

(12:07) Mommy: Yeah, whatever.

(12:07) Daddy: can i call you daddy when you fuck me

(12:07) Mommy: Lol

(12:07) Daddy: keijiiiiiiiiii

(12:07) Mommy: You can call me whatever you want.

(12:07) Daddy: only while we have sex though right

(12:07) Mommy: Yes.

(12:07) Daddy: what are your kinks

(12:07) Mommy: How about we talk about this when I'm not eating?

(12:07) Daddy: good point  
(12:08) Daddy: hey when u finish eating can u go somewhere that you'll be alone and tell me

(12:08) Mommy: Why?

(12:08) Daddy: take a gander

(12:08) Mommy: No.

(12:08) Daddy: yes

(12:08) Mommy: Give me 5 minutes.

(12:08) Daddy: omg ur actually doing it

(12:08) Mommy: Shut up.

(12:08) Daddy: keiji i forgot how to sext how am i supposed to get you horny

(12:09) Mommy: Again, shut up.

(12:09) Daddy: fuck  
(12:09) Daddy: but imagine me saying that when you enter me hot right

(12:09) Mommy: That was a terrible save.

(12:09) Daddy: ooh the bell rang  
(12:09) Daddy: where do i go to do this

(12:09) Mommy: The club room.

(12:09) Daddy: lol i wonder what kind of things went down there before i got here

(12:09) Mommy: The biscuit game used to be played in the club room as hazing for all the freshmen before 2012.

(12:10) Daddy: omg  
(12:10) Daddy: ur club room is desecrated

(12:10) Mommy: Yeah, whatever.

(12:10) Daddy: are there any cumstains

(12:10) Mommy: No.

(12:10) Daddy: good lol

(12:10) Mommy: I’ll be right back.

(12:10) Daddy: k

(12:14) Mommy: Back.

(12:14) Daddy: welcome back babe  
(12:14) Daddy: ready to sext

(12:14) Mommy: Thank you, and barely.

(12:14) Daddy: okay  
(12:14) Daddy: idk what to do

(12:14) Mommy: Me either.

(12:15) Daddy: mwah

(12:15) Mommy: You're so cute.

(12:15) Daddy: omg

(12:15) Mommy: I love you.

(12:15) Daddy: keiji are u okay

(12:15) Mommy: Can't I be nice every now and then?

(12:15) Daddy: okay yeah lmao  
(12:16) Daddy: i wish you were here  
(12:16) Daddy: you know, so you could fuck me

(12:16) Mommy: I wish so, too.

(12:16) Daddy: i love how you say that instead of just me too  
(12:16) Daddy: it’s like  
(12:16) Daddy: sexier for some reason lmao

(12:16) Mommy: Whatever gets you off, Atsumu.

 

 

 

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Chat: Miya Osamu and Yahaba

(18:16) Yahaba: How’s the progress with Kenjirou?

(18:16) Miya Osamu: Pitiful  
(18:17) Miya Osamu: He told me to stop using periods when I send messages

(18:17) Yahaba: Nice

(18:17) Miya Osamu: Have you seen the finger puppet guy at all lately?

(18:17) Yahaba: I want to kms  
(18:17) Yahaba: Kentarou is convinced that we still have problems andnlike ????  
(18:17) Yahaba: Attached image  
(18:17) Yahaba: LOOK AT HOW HE TEXTS ME

(18:17) Miya Osamu: Or how he doesn't  
(18:17) Miya Osamu: Same

(18:17) Yahaba: Do you think if I buy him liquid eyeliner he’ll be good for a week?

(18:18) Miya Osamu: Yes

(18:18) Yahaba: Kill me

(18:18) Miya Osamu: But I love you

(18:18) Yahaba: Osamu,

(18:18) Miya Osamu: Platonically

(18:18) Yahaba: I love you, too

 

 

 

 

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Chat: suGAR, SPICE, and everything nice

 (12:17) SPICE: TORA

(12:17) everything nice: YO

(12:17) SPICE: WHYS UR NAMW SO LOKEY  
(12:17) SPICE: LIKE LOWERCSSE SND SHIT

(12:17) everything nice: BC UR BOYFRIEND CHANGED IT

(12:17) SPICE: OH RIGHT  
(12:17) SPICE: NVM LEAVE IT

(12:18) suGAR: gay

(12:18) SPICE: SUCK ASAHIS DICK

(12:18) suGAR: gay

(12:18) everything nice: ^  
(12:18) everything nice: y'all so gay

(12:18) SPICE: SUCK KINOSHITAS DICK

(12:18) everything nice: lol okay

(12:18) suGAR: damn b  
(12:18) suGAR: i thought that was a rumor

(12:18) everything nice: it’s //COMPLICATED//

(12:19) SPICE: AKA FUCKBUDS

(12:19) suGAR: BUDS  
(12:19) suGAR: FUCKBUDS  
(12:19) suGAR: TANAKA DO U REALIZE HOW UNSEXY THtTMAKES IT

(12:19) SPICE: VERY (;

(12:19) everything nice: HE PULLED OUT THE BACKWARDS WINK

(12:19) suGAR: FUCK

(12:19) SPICE: ((((((;;;;

(12:19) everything nice: SPIDER  
(12:19) everything nice: I AHEV ACEAPSHNOPHOHOA  
(12:20) everything nice: OMG  
(12:20) everything nice: I CNATE EVN LWVAW BC ITS A GC OF THREE

(12:20) suGAR: I’L PROTECT U BRO

(12:20) everything nice: TJANSK YOU NOYA ILY

(12:20) suGAR: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ ILY2BRO

 

 

 

 

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Chat: Mommy, kagehina is real, miyanoshita, notyourmom, runa, and Suzumeda

(01:13) kagehina is real: i just  
(01:13) kagehina is real: my girlfriend…  
(01:13) kagehina is real: she's so gorgeous i-

(01:14) runa: girl  
(01:14) runa: me2

(01:14) Suzumeda: SAME

(01:14) miyanoshita: gay

(01:14) notyourmom: dude ur gay too

(01:14) Mommy: Can I ask why I’m in this chat?

(01:14) Suzumeda: Oh right

(01:15) kagehina is real: hi akaashi

(01:15) Mommy: Hi, Hitoka.

(01:15) Suzumeda: Don't call my friends by their first names

(01:15) Mommy: I apologize sincerely.

(01:15) notyourmom: that sounded insincere asf

(01:15) Suzumeda: Akaashi-san

(01:15) Mommy: Yes?

(01:15) miyanoshita: why is there a boy here again

(01:15) Suzumeda: WE NEED UR HELP

(01:16) Mommy: I beg your pardon.

(01:16) Suzumeda: MY GIRL IS DOING AN ARTICLE ON VOLLEYBALL FOR HER JOURNALISM INTERNSHIP  
(01:16) Suzumeda: RUNA RAISE UR HAND

(01:16) runa: present

(01:16) Mommy: You could have just asked me in private chat.

(01:16) Suzumeda: NO  
(01:16) Suzumeda: Can she get an interview w/ Miya and Sakusa pls

(01:16) runa: please :)

(01:16) Mommy: Why did you have to ask at one in the morning?

(01:16) Suzumeda: shut up akaashi

(01:16) Mommy: I’ll see what I can do.

(01:16) runa: THANK YOU AKAASHI-SAN

(01:17) Mommy: Happy to help.

(01:18) notyourmom: woah

(01:18) runa: ?

(01:18) notyourmom: i just looked at his profile picture  
(01:18) notyourmom: he's hot

(01:18) runa: same

(01:18) Suzumeda: It feels like you're ogling my dad

(01:18) kagehina is real: same

(01:19) Mommy: Atsumu said yes.

(01:19) notyourmom: u proposed??

(01:19) Mommy: I meant the interview.

(01:19) Suzumeda: Atsumu???? First name basis????

(01:19) kagehina is real: so bokuaka isn't real?

(01:19) runa: maybe he was differentiating between the miyas

(01:19) Mommy: What is a bokuaka?

(01:19) Suzumeda: It’s fake; he's dating Miya Atsumu confirmed

(01:19) kagehina is real: bokuaka is ur ship name w/ bokuto

(01:19) Mommy: Does everyone know?

(01:20) kagehina is real: about bokuaka?

(01:20) Mommy: About Atsumu.

(01:20) Suzumeda: oh my god  
(01:20) Suzumeda: i  
(01:20) Suzumeda: I WAS JUST KIDDING

(01:20) Mommy: Oh.

(01:20) Suzumeda: Akaashi y didn’t u tell me

(01:20) Mommy: You didn't ask.

(01:20) runa: can i ask him about ur relationship in the interview

(01:20) Mommy: Realistically, I can't stop you.

(01:20) runa: i ship it

(01:20) Mommy: I think Futakuchi should ask about the interview with Sakusa. Sakusa owes him.

(01:20) notyourmom: got it

(01:21) Mommy: I’ll be taking my leave now, if you don't mind. Have a good evening, ladies.

Mommy has left the chat.

(01:21) Suzumeda: I can't believe he has a boyfriend

(01:21) notyourmom: same @ futakuchi  
(01:21) notyourmom: he's so cringey it's amazing that he's not a virgin

(01:21) Suzumeda: Same

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't know how to end this given it was an extra to a series lmao  
> Idk if Hoshiumi's friend is a setter but for the purpose of this fic he is  
> i didn't proofread/rewrite so sorry if it was trash 
> 
> thank you for reading


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